


Birds and pleas and prison keys

by Itsenoughtime



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Angst, Drinking Problem, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Heistwives, Hurt/Comfort, Oceans 8 - Freeform, Romance, and jail, lot of it, ocean's eight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:27:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16123304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsenoughtime/pseuds/Itsenoughtime
Summary: Lou believed her . She believed she was gonna come back to her, she believed she loved her. She believed Debbie she was gonna make it up to her, and a little bit of her heart came back. Because they might be standing miles apart now,  but the reassurance that there was still a thread keeping them together was  all Lou ever hoped for. Yes, her heart was still in pieces, yes- her trust was still broken, but she had 6 years to put those back together.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello people.  
> i am kinda new here and this is my first loubbie fanfiction, so plz be kind to me lol.  
> english is not my native language so please bare with me if there is any mistake.  
> I just want to explore more of what happened with Lou while Debbie went to jail, and her excessive gum-chewing in the film made me think that it was to compensate something else- perhaps alcohol?  
> this is going to have a few more chapters more likely, entil Debbie gets out of jail.  
> The title was inspired by another fic i read time ago, but i can't remember which was it.  
> Enjoy!

It took a sentence to get through the first bottle.  
It took years to get out of the bottom of it.  
And bubble gums. Lots of bubble and mint gums

Lou isn’t even that sure when it all started. Was it when she saw Debbie in court, knowing that she had no way out this time? Was it when Debbie left-her Debbie- for something, someone she considered better than the life they shared?  
  
Lou knew Debbie wasn’t satisfied at the time. After all rigging bingos could bring home so much money. But then why not talking it through with her? Why slapping her in the face with the “I’ve found someone with whom I’ll be doing jobs from now on, not for long though. “ bullshit and then never come back? Telling her ‘ I’m sorry, but things are good here ...and I kinda like the guy” like there was nothing between them, like their sleepless nights and soft whispers and heart-shattering memories were just a thing that came and went?  
  
And yet, Lou was not that surprised when Debbie called her from a police station, telling her that she might be just a little bit fucked. She had hoped that after all, Debbie was still hers, and if her body and her promises didn’t belong to her anymore, at least her heart did. And she was right. Because Debbie had no one else- just like Lou.  
  
But what took her by surprise was what Debbie told her after- that she was sorry.  
  
“ I’m sorry Lou. I know I should have listened to you. I know I should have stayed. I love you”.  
  
Lou had had a bad feeling when Debbie told her that she was gonna be the buyer this time-because they still talked, of course they did. Lou would have rather hear from Debbie even if they weren’t together anymore than not to hear from Debbie at all. Lou had felt a kind of pain vaguely known to her; a soul -gripping kind of pain that told her that no, this is not how things should be. This is not right. And even if this pain was somewhat familiar, Lou couldn’t quite recognize it.  
  
But then Debbie called from prison and told her that she loved her, the first time in a year. And it felt like forever. And it felt just like when Debbie left, just like when she told her she was going to be the buyer. It felt like nothing was ever enough. Not their time, not their dreams, not the money, not her pleas to stay (“please Debbie, I LOVE YOU PLEASE STAY. PLEASE DON’T GO PLEASE PLeASE please)not even her love. Or her.  
  
Because now it didn’t matter anymore. Debbie was going to prison. And Lou was going to be alone again. But a different kind of alone, the one you know why you’re alone. And you know that your lover’s coming back somewhen, but you’re not so sure about your feelings anymore. It’s not that Lou didn’t love Debbie anymore- God, she loved her even more if that was possible. But six years is a long time, and could she be so sure of Debbie? How was she supposed to know if her Debbie would still be her Debbie? How could she know if after –after jail, after everything Debbie would still be telling her that she loves her?  
  
A week after she got the call and Debbie was sentenced with six years and a chance of parole, Lou went to visit her. And she realized orange didn’t suit Debbie so bad after all. And she saw the same wild, live sparkle in her eyes- a little less bright, but it was still there. And then and there Lou thought that maybe, just maybe, it was going to be ok.  
  
“What do you need?’’ asked Lou. They didn’t even greet each other, and that glass was so clear and almost invisible and bright, yet it was still there. Suddenly Lou understood; it was perhaps going to be ok, it was just not gonna be the same. Because that glass didn’t just appear from nowhere, that glass had been there since Debbie broke her heart, since she left, and it was so obvious-how did she not see it until now?  
  
And while Debbie listed her the things she would need-tampons, cigars, a phone, some good old chocolate- Lou started to cry, with never ending tears and no sobs. Just tears. Debbie kept talking to her, but Lou wasn’t really sure what was going on- what went wrong? How did they get here? Was the money not enough? What did she do wrong?  
  
Lou could see Debbie talking, but she just couldn’t hear. And the suddenly she heard something she heard so few times she could count them on the fingers of one hand- she heard Debbie pleading.  
“Please Lou, please don’t cry. Please Lou, please, I beg you don’t cry, I’m not worth your tears. I know I fucked up but listen- I’ll make it up to you . Just wait for me. I’ll come back. I love you, I-I…”  
  
Then Debbie choked on her tears, and the words wouldn’t come out anymore, and that Debbie- a crying Debbie, a pleading Debbie, a still beautiful and honest Debbie- was something that Lou had never imagined she would ever see. It reminded her of a caged bird, that can still sing but is just not the same as its free and wild peers, and Lou didn’t like caged birds. She liked her Debbie free and wild and confident, but this wasn’t Debbie,it was just a bird in jail. She was a jailbird.  
  
Her jailbird.  
  
Lou believed her . She believed she was gonna come back to her, she believed she loved her. She believed Debbie she was gonna make it up to her, and a little bit of her heart came back. Because they might be standing miles apart now, in different positions, but the reassurance that there was still a thread keeping them together was all Lou ever hoped for. Yes, her heart was still in pieces, yes- her trust was still broken, but she had 6 years to put those back together.  
  
Still, their old life seemed so much more intangible now, so far, far away…  
  
Lou left. She promised Debbie she would have everything she wanted and more, she promised she would wait, she said she loved her too, and the she left.  
Only later that night, when she was two bottles of vodka deep she realized that it was not going to be the same. And it was not going to be ok either .


	2. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well well well, look who decided not to be a lazy ass at the beginning of the new year.  
> I have made it one of my resolutions to finish my unfinished fics, and I wanna hold on to that.  
> Happy new year!!! May this year treat y'all kindly.

Lou has never been a heavy drinker. Sure, she’s had her nights, when Debbie and wine were the best combination New York had ever seen. They were happy nights and advil-ridden mornings, but otherwise, Lou knew when to stop.  
  
Only that now Lou finds that maybe she doesn’t really know anything.  
  
  
She wakes up with a headache, and with hazy eyes she tries to make out where she is. The faint smell of cinnamon and rose gives it away; and then it dawns on her that even if Debbie’s perfume still lingers around her, Debbie is not there with her. Debbie is in actual fucking prison,-she saw her for God’s sake, she talked to her- and Debbie is not coming back, not later with groceries and bagels, not tomorrow with her pocket a little bit fatter, not in the next six years.  
  
And Lou wants to shout, wants to reach the Debbie that is still there with her in the air and yell at her and tell her that she was so stupid and reckless, wants to pull her in her arms and never let go-only that she can’t. The headache starts from her head and the pain spreads to her toes, and next thing she knows she’s bowling over the toilet, emptying what was left of the omlette she had last night. The day gets worse- she apparently ran out of advils, and Lou curses all the saints and gods she has never believed in , then decides that she isn’t going out for anything in the world, not when Debbie’s perfume is still there, not when there’s a chance of coming back and finding the room Debbie-less.  
So Lou drinks. Drowns in the bottles , drowns in Debbie’s perfume and then Debbie is there with her, telling her how easy to con the prison is, how she’s made it out and she’s never going back, how they’re going to Italy because they have always wanted to go to Italy but never had the chance-or the money.  
  
Then Lou runs out of alcohol. It’s several hours later (or days ,or weeks, Lou doesn’t care, the faster the better), that she remembers she has a package to send to Debbie and some connections to reminiscence. Lou realizes that infiltrating boxes with tampons, cigarettes and chocolate might be the only way she will be able to get touch with Debbie, but if it means it hurts less, then so be it.  
  
By sheer will, Lou gets off the floor; the rooms start spinning, and Debbie’s not there anymore, and now it smells like cheap vodka and desperation, and Lou has no idea how she will get through. But she has to send that damn package, and she has to make things easier for Debbie; has to make sure she doesn’t get stabbed in the back; has to make sure the shit she tries to smuggle in gets to her; has to make sure she has at least one guardian by her side.  
After all, this has always been Lou’s job; whereas Debbie had the plan, Lou had to make sure everything played in their favor. And even if nothing is smiling at her right now, a happy, unscarred Debbie out of prison means a happy Lou. Because Lou thinks thing will be still the same after; because Lou as nothing to hold on to but that pale light at the end of her tunnel, and she’ll have a lot to walk to reach that in six years.  
  
So Lou gets dressed; she doesn’t look in the mirror, doesn’t want to see. Goes out and buys everything Debbie asked, plus a couple bottles of booze and then goes back home.  
Home. A strange concept , now that Debbie’s not there anymore. But she’ll have to work with that, and Lou will find out later on that booze helps immensely in keeping the house a home with Debbie in it. Will find out that days are not that bad when you are not really living them, just drinking through them. Will find out that time passes extremely fast when you are not keeping track of it anymore-vision too blurry to make out the clock, really.  
  
But this is later, and Lou still has a last job to do; to make sure that Debbie is ok, even though she herself isn’t. She puts everything in the box; thinks about writing Debbie a note, a letter, anything, but she knows she won’t get any response, and that will only remind her of the walls and barbed wire and roads and miles between them, and Lou doesn’t need that kind of reality.  
  
Lou makes a few calls, meets a few people, and soon she has Dina the guard, Alex-to guard Debbie’s back in the shower-, Red-she was trustworthy when she was out, she’ll be more than fit now to get the packs to Debbie and make sure she doesn’t get her food poisoned in prison-on her payroll. And for now it’s enough. She has enough money to last her around three months. She has time to get a honest job, to pull some cons here and there after.  
But now… now , safe in the knowledge that Debbie will be ok over the next three months, now that there’s no lingering perfume in the air to keep Debbie alive in her-their bedroom , Lou has to do that herself.  
  
And with the lights off, where the drowned glasses of vodka are the only indicative of time passing, Debbie has never looked sweeter.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment if you liked it and if you have prompts for other loubbie fics feel free to share!  
> I hope this was ok, I swear Lou is gonna get better. just not yet.


End file.
